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(Health Secrets Newsletter) When I first started on this journey of creating a healthy, happy, inspired lifestyle I read a book by Don Miguel Ruiz called The Four Agreements. I was captivated by the philosophy shared in the book and read it multiple times. The perspective influenced the direction of my life in a way I could never have anticipated. Here is the second in a series of articles exploring each of the agreements in relation to creating a healthy, happy, inspired lifestyle. Don’t miss the first one in which you will learn how the assumptions you make can undermine the life you want.
The Second Agreement
Don’t Take Anything Personally – What an eye opener, as I always take everything personally and have all of my life! How does one even begin integrating this into a lifestyle so inbred with assuming everything is about ones’ self? Once you begin to understand that everyone is in their own movie and you are not the main character of their movie it all starts to fall into place. Everyone see’s things through their own filters and in context of what is happening in their life at this moment. Their primary focus is not you, your life or your issues.
Other’s see their world, not yours. Their eyes see and interpret situations differently than yours do. Therefore, don’t think how they respond is about you. It’s really about them and what’s going on in their movie. A simple quote from the book says it all: “You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.”
The beauty of approaching your world in this way is it offers incredible freedom from making other people’s behavior your problem. Nothing anyone does is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own inner reality. Your mission is to be positive regardless of what others do or say. The proper response to any reaction you receive is pure love. Treat everyone as your best friend regardless of how they treat you.
View situations as if they have no meaning, no good, no bad, no better, no worse, no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy, no judgment, no expectation. In doing so, you give no meaning to anything and therefore no judgment. What if words were just words and either the words or the tone in which they were spoken didn’t carry a meaning for you? It’s an interesting exercise and takes practice to become comfortable with this way of being. It you are committed, the reward is plentiful and abundant! You will be well on your way to creating a healthy, happy, inspired lifestyle. The realization that everything is not all about you is shocking, refreshing, eye opening and life changing!
Realizing we are all connected at the deepest level of the soul, feeling a sense of oneness with others, and coming from a place of community offers the opportunity to experience life in a unique and precious way. Use the power of oneness, love, and not taking anything personally to create a deeper awareness of how you can make a difference on this planet. The feelings, beliefs, opinions, and actions of others are not your responsibility. Accept others for who they are, unconditionally, without a judgment as to if it is wrong or right. Don’t allow yourself to slip into the behavior of believing that another person needs to think, feel, believe, and act according to how you think they should. If you need to make everyone conform to your way of thinking in order to feel good, you will never experience true freedom. For as you try to control others, you limit yourself.
